I Only Wear an Apron Forty Hours a Week...

I experience an odd phenomenon from time to time.  Often, when I'm out shopping, no matter what kind of store, no matter what I'm wearing or doing or holding, it will be assumed that I work in whatever store I'm in.  It's happened to me in electronics stores, Walmart, clothing stores, restaurants, and today in a shoe store. 

A British woman walked straight up to me and asked for help.  I redirected her, saying, "I think the people in the aprons can help you."  Yes, the actual employees of this store were all wearing very visible aprons with the name and logo of the place emblazoned on the front.  And, in the not-very-large store, there were actually about fifteen of these aproned folks scattered about - I had three different ones helping me during my stay.  Not hard to find and pin one down.

Does anyone else have this problem?  I've been told it's because I walk with a purpose and look like I know what I'm doing, which is especially laughable when I'm in a shoe or clothing store.  I'm generally walking with a purpose, all right: getting out as fast as possible.  It usually happens when I'm wearing a polo shirt - I think that might have a lot to do with the problem.  Polo shirt = knowledge/helpfulness? 

But, I mean, when I'm in a store, I try to look for a logo on the polo, or a nametag, or something... Doesn't everyone?  Clearly not.  But, you know, sometimes this issue does help me feel like a do-gooder.  Just yesterday I helped an elderly woman figure out that CVS was out of the toothpaste that was on sale.  And I was probably a lot nicer than anyone who actually worked there.  She might still be staring at that shelf if not for me. 

In somewhat-related news, the other day I got on the subway at my stop, which is the last stop on the line.  That means that the train always starts off empty at my stop.  I stepped into a car that only had a couple of other people in it and chose a seat away from all of them, all by myself, just how I like to be on the train.  I try to avoid sitting directly next to anyone if I can help it.  I've been told I have personal space issues.  Whatever.  So, I'm sitting there, empty seats all around, and this older lady comes and sits down right next to me.  There wasn't anything really all that offensive or weird about her, other than a very prominent odor of White Rain hairspray.  But, regardless, why right next to me?  Why right next to anyone?  In this city, isn't it nice to take a little extra personal space when you can get it?  Maybe she figured she'd end up sitting next to someone by the end of the ride, and I looked normal enough, so instead of gambling on a normal person sitting next to her later on down the line, she'd just sit next to a relatively normal looking person right off the bat? 

So, maybe that's my mission here: being a non-scary contributor to city life, someone tourists and shoppers and other newbies can ask for help.  I did offer to take a picture of a couple of tourists in the theatre district last night, and one of them asked me straight out, "You're not going to run off with my camera, are you?"

No, ma'am.  I'm on your side.  But I can't get you a size nine in that loafer.  Sorry. 

Comments

[jeri workman]

I wish I could send you an a/c. I am sitting here in a nice cool townhouse counting my blessings. Miss you buddy!

[BK]

What a hoot -- thanks for the smile this morning! Your tone makes me think of my favorite comedian -- send me your address (to my email at school) and I'll send you his DVD -- might not cool you down, but it will sure make you laugh. BK

[KiltedJedi]

Weedle,

You have become fully Siren-ized. You are...warm and cuddly. Too much green/black apron time. We simply placated ourselves by saying we are cold and prickly. Sigh...

KiltedJedi

[Mel]

You crack me up! I NEVER knew you had an issue with personal space! Just think of things this way...maybe you just have worked at Starbucks so long that you can't help but give off the welcoming vibe wherever you are! Love ya girl and can't wait to see you

[80'smom]

Dude-I thought it was just me!

I've thought about making a button that reads "I don't work here!"

[80'smom]

Dude-I thought it was just me!

I've thought about making a button that reads "I don't work here!"